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Archive for the ‘Leadership & Influence’ Category

Dale Partridge, Family Man, Author, Co-Founder of Sevenly.org, Social Good Entrepreneur, and Follower of Christ.

Dale Patridge has it going on…

He’s a motivational guru, author, husband, father, entrepreneur, and blogger.  Plus, he can ride a unicycle and kickflip on a skateboard.

So, it’s understandable that this motivational guru, musician, mother, entrepreneur and blogger who can ride a bicycle and almost stay on a skateboard would feel a kinship.  Yes?

Well, I do.  I just started following his blog, The Daily Positive, as opposed to visiting it in cognito, and figured I ought to share one or two of his change leadership tips with my few but well-loved followers.

So, here are the unmistakable, unchangeable, secrets, according to Dale, that truly create a perfect life:

    1. Family – We can’t escape it. For some it causes joy, for others pain. But family is more than blood. It’s those who are greater than friends. Those who have remained with us for years, even decades. They have chosen to do life by our side. These people are the ones who truly bring us joy. Let’s not forget that. Instead of investing in a hobby, in a project, or in a job. Let’s invest here.
    2. Friends – I follow a few neurological blogs (I know… how boring), a scientist from Yale University confirmed our minds are unmistakably designed for community and love. Friends offer both. Think about the happiest moments of your life, who was there? We spend so much time searching for happiness when it can likely be had in a simple conversation with good friend. Call them, today.
    3. Fitness – Without our health, not much else matters. About 6 years ago I got very ill. I was diagnosed with an inner ear disorder which caused extreme dizziness for months a time. It was horrible. I became depressed, anxious, and border-line suicidal. It made one thing very clear. Without our health, life is short, depressing and hard to enjoy. But this is an area where many of us dig our own graves. We eat poorly, we don’t exercise, we take prescription medicines that treat symptoms rather than heal the problem. Let’s fight for our health. Go for a walk. Buy organic food. Go vegan for 90 days. Whatever it takes to protect this precious element of your life.
    4. Food (and drink) – We can’t live without it. We were clearly made for it. It’s a source of joy and community for the human soul. Like anything, it can be abused. But let’s talk about a healthy value of loving food. I think there is a reason Jesus chose communion (which means community with food) as his way to be remembered. We have been created with an amazing ability to taste and to even feel different ingredients. Food is what brings us together, it heals us, and it provides a way for us to survive. Never feel bad about investing into quality food with great people. It’s these moments that make up the best times of our lives.
    5. Faith: Now I know all of you might not agree on this one, but that’s okay :) – For many of us, faith in a Creator, does not make us weak, it offers us connection, community, joy, safety and most of all, purpose. For me personally, my faith has offered me incredible transformation and consistency. By knowing what I believe it allows me to create a life that aligns. It helps me through the toughest times and provides me a super natural ability to love people. If this is something you desire, reach out to God. Get to know him. I believe it is wiser to live as if there were a God and find out there wasn’t, than to live as if there is no God, and find out there was.

What do you think?  He’s got a pretty great outlook on life and how to live it, dosn’t he?

Comments or additions to his list are welcome. Don’t be shy. I’d love to hear from you.

maintenanceLast week I posted a simple declaration of how to simplify the decision-making process.  As I embark on this new life I’ve chosen, I have been determined to make decisions based on my beliefs and values rather than what is easy, cheap or popular.  The subject has been in my thoughts all week and I realize that simplistic approach isn’t enough.

There are issues that must be addressed even after making a decision based on what is RIGHT.  Those decisions must be managed, or maintained on a continual basis.

I’ve listed here the issues that I have been thinking about.  I hope those of you who read this post will feel compelled to add any others you may have in the Comments section.

  1. ATTITUDES:  Choosing and displaying the right attitudes every day.
  2. PRIORITIES:  Determining and acting on IMPORTANT priorities first.
  3. HEALTH:  Knowing and following healthy guidelines.
  4. RELATIONSHIPS:  Communicating and caring for my loved ones.
  5. THOUGHTS:  Practicing and developing spiritual thinking habits.
  6. COMMITMENTS:  Making and keeping committments to God every day.
  7. FINANCES:  Properly managing my fanancial affairs, living within my means, and always giving to God first.
  8. FAITH:  Deepening my testimony and living out my faith every moment of every day.
  9. AFFAIRS:  Keeping God’s plan always the priority when initiating and investing in solid, healthy, respectful relationships with people who share my values.
  10. GENEROSITY:  Planning for and practicing generosity in all areas of my life at all times, especially when it feels most difficult to do.
  11. VALUES:  Embracing and practicing the values that Jesus teaches at all times, in all ways, with all things.
  12. GROWTH:  Seeking out improvements where ever and whenever they can be found and focusing on taking steps forward, no matter how small, every day.

These are the critical issues I want to focus on, diligently and with conviction, until they become second nature to me.

STOP
Making decisions because they are
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STOP
Making decisions because they are
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STOP
Making decisions because they are
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START
Making decisions based on everyone’s best interest to
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Have you ever wished you could “make” someone agree with you?  Have you ever wondered how a salesperson managed to get you to buy something you really didn’t want?  Have you ever heard the phrase “Getting to Yes” or “Closing the Sale” and thought that would be a useful skill?

Well, when we make decisions, our brains are hard-wired to take mental shortcuts.  Internal mechanisms help us quickly assimilate information and take the correct next step.  It stands to reason, then, that those who understand how these mechanisms work would have an enormous power to “help” others make easy, quick decisions.

There are seven “triggers” listed below.  Naturally, it takes time and study to master them, and far more information than the nibble I’ve posted here, but if you are interested in learning more, I used to offer a course that covers the elements of each trigger, how to activate each of them, and how to apply them both individually and in combinations.  It’s a process of determining which triggers will be most easily activated in each persuasive encounter you have.

If you are interested in setting something up, just leave me a comment with your contact information.  All my comments are held until I allow them to be posted, so your information will never be shown on my blog.

Persuasion is the single most important business and personal skill to learn.  Without the skill of persuasion, leaders would be unable to lead, salespeople would be unable to sell, motivational speakers would be unable to motivate, and so on.  Persuasion is the key to success in every facet of life.  Most people don’t understand the key elements of persuasion and fewer still apply the process well

1.  The Friendship Trigger:  Trust, Friendship and Common Bonds.

Friendship is a fundamental trigger that works by itself, and underlies and supports virtually every other trigger.  When you establish the elements of friendship, persuasion becomes much easier.  We are far more likely to be persuaded by someone we trust and feel friendly toward than by a stranger.

2.  The Authority Trigger:  Show Credibility, Knowledge and Authority.

Ethos, the Authority trigger, is one of the three primary triggers defined by Aristotle around 435 BC.  Like Friendship, Authority is a critical emotional trigger, a pre-requisite for other triggers.  When people believe you are an expert, are experienced, know what you are talking about, persuasion compliance follows.  The key is to wisely activate your partner’s Authority trigger.  Authority/Expertise is an exceptionally powerful trigger that is fairly easy to aquire and communicate.

3.  The Consistency Trigger:  Some of Us are Slaves to Consistency.

Remember this truism: We are slaves to consistency and conformity.  From birth forward, we assemble a databank of beliefs, feelings and actions that form the bedrock of who we are and how we react to stimuli.  We are required to be consistent with the feelings we have about ourselves, and to conform to our respected peers.  The Consistency trigger allows us to make instantaneous, automatic decisions.

4.  The Reciprocity Trigger:  The Universal Requirement for Quid Pro Quo.

Fun, easy to facilitate, and guaranteed to work, the Reciprocity trigger always delivers and the outcome is consistently a win-win situation.  Psychologists have been able to watch the brain react for over a decade and have concluded that it is the Reciprocity trigger that is responsible for helping human civilization start, grow and flourish.  It’s a powerful trigger and plays a huge role in the persuasion process.

5.  The Contrast Trigger:  Perceptions Rule.

Those individuals you are trying to persuade always have alternative approaches to meet their needs.  Your job is to persuade them that your product, solution, or service is better than any alternative.  The savvy persuader will know precisely how to compare and contrast options — even the option of doing nothing — in a way that motivates others to say YES!  The contrast trigger is scientifically documented and incredibly effective, easy and fun to use.  Perhaps most importantly it helps you organize the order and structure of your presentation for maximum results.

6.  The Reason Why Trigger:  Provide a Reason and You Will Persuade.

This is one of the quickest triggers to get to YES!  Simply give your partner a reason why he/she/they should do what you want.  That’s it.  The amygdala seems to accept a valid reason, and doesnt even bother to send the information to the cerebral cortex for further evaluation.  The amygdala OK’s the reason as a shortcut to avoid heavy thinking.  Until we understood the amygdala-cortex connection, the Reason Why trigger was just a hit-or-miss process. But now we understand the relationship and are able to fine-tune the process for consistant results.

7.  The Hope Trigger:  The Strongest Motivator.

This is both the most powerful and the most important trigger of them all.  Hope drives all human motivation. It is the bedrock for decision and action.  Decisions and actions to achieve our hopes, dreams, needs and wants will always trump logic, reason and cognitive thought.  The amygdala quickly and consistently triggers immediate decisions when the Hope trigger is ativated.

Naturally, this is just a taste of what mastering the powers of persuasion entails.  I hope it has sparked your interest and “persuaded” you to want to learn more.  It’s a fastinating subject to study and life-changing when employed.

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Here are 6 ways you can successfully make the people around you feel great:

  1. Put Your Stuff Away – Don’t ever have your phone or computer out while in a conversation.
  2. Use a Person’s Name in Conversation – This requires you remember it when they tell you :)
  3. Ask Them to Teach you Something – Everyone has something to offer, let them shine.
  4. Be Authentically Interested – Lean in, keep eye contact, and listen way more than you talk.
  5. Shine the Spotlight on Them – In group settings, share someone’s talent, a good story about them, or what you like about them.
  6. Compliment Them – It makes them feel special, raises their self-esteem, and makes them realize you appreciate them.

Now it’s your turn.  What can you add to this list?

Credits

Sister Mary Rose McGeady, D.C. MENANDS Daughter of Charity Rose McGeady passed away on Thursday, September 13, 2012 surrounded by her loving Sisters, family, Covenant House executives and St. Louise House staff.

Sister Mary Rose McGeady, daughter of Catherine and Joseph McGeady, was born in Hazelton, Pa. She spent her youthful years there and in Washington, D.C. with her brother and sister. She met the Daughters of Charity as a high school student in the Immaculate Conception Academy, Washington, D.C. and entered the community in 1946.

Sister [Mary Rose] loved children. Her many years as a Daughter of Charity were spent in the service of children as a child-care worker, supervisor, and administrator. Her first experience was in the Home for Destitute Catholic Children in Boston. Astor Home for Children in Rhinebeck was a pilot project for emotionally troubled children. While there, Sister earned a master’s degree in psychology from Fordham University. Sister continued to work for children in Nazareth Center, Boston and Kennedy Child Study Center in New York City.

Sister [Mary Rose] was a founding member of the Daughters of Charity activities in St. John’s Parish, Bedford Stuyvesant in Brooklyn. There she worked for Catholic Charities and financially supported the other Sisters in the parish.

Sister Mary Rose served on the provincial council of the Northeast Province of the Daughters of Charity from 1973 to 1980. Then she assumed the duties of the provincial superior for six years. After that, she returned to Catholic Charities in Brooklyn.

After interviews, she was invited to be the executive director of Covenant House in New York City. Here her many talents benefited children. Her life experience with troubled youngsters and her speaking and storytelling ability were used for the "throwaway children of New York City" and then other national and international sites. Her talents reaped rewards at fund raising affairs throughout the country. After she spoke, who could resist giving?

Through Sister Mary Rose’s several paperbacks about individual children and young adults at Covenant House and why and how these children became lost, Sister educated thousands to the reality of what happened to these children and again attracted little and big donors.

She [retired] to St. Louise House in 2003 where her mind was as active as ever but her body experienced the diminishments of aging. She helped to establish St. Paul’s, a shelter for women and children, and served on the board. Her honorary degrees and other awards are too numerous to include.

Sister [Mary Rose] is survived by her sister, Catherine Pendleton, and her husband, Frank Pendleton, of San Jose, Calif.; her sister-in-law, Ruth McGeady, and her eight nephews.

A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Monday, September 17, 2012 in the De Paul House Chapel at 10:30 a.m. Interment will follow in St Agnes Cemetery, Menands. A wake service remembering Sister will be held at 7 p.m. on Sunday, September 16, 2012. Calling hours will begin from 4 p.m. when the body returns and is blessed in the DePaul House Chapel, 96 Menand Road, Albany, NY 12204.

Donations may be made to the Daughters of Charity , 4330 Olive St., St. Louis, MO. or Covenant House, Sr. Mary Rose Memorial Fund, P.O. Box 731, Times Square Station, NY 10108.

Online condolences may be offered at danielkeenanfuneralhome.com

Note from BB:  I did not have the privilege of knowing Sister Mary Rose personally but I felt I did.  My neighbor and friend has been a close personal friend of hers most of his life.  He spoke of her constantly, of the work she did, and more importantly the difference she made in the lives of so many people, young and old.  I would listen to his side of phone conversations he had with her, the last being a call to wish her a happy 84th birthday (he borrowed my phone).  She will undoubtedly be missed by many, especially the children she saved, my neighbor included. Rest in Peace dear Lady of God.

LEAVE MORE THAN AN INHERITANCE

“For when he dies he shall carry nothing away; His glory shall not descend after him.”  Psalm 49:17

God encourages us to fix our eyes on the things that endure. In light of eternity, leaders cannot become consumed with the temporary. Only a vision that outlives them, a vision connected to eternity, will fulfill a godly leader. In other words, we must build a legacy.

A huge difference exists between a legacy and an inheritance. Anyone can leave an inheritance. An inheritance is something you leave to your family or loved ones. (It also fades.) A legacy is something you leave in your family and loved ones. Consider these differences:

            Inheritance                                                           Legacy
1. Something you give to others                        1. Something you place in others
2. Temporarily brings them happiness          2. Permanently transforms them
3. Eventually fades as it is spent                       3. Lives on long after you die
4. Your activity may or may not pay off        4. Your activity becomes achievement

 Excerpt from The Maxwell Leadership Bible.  Sign up HERE.

Am also an Isaac Asimov fan – especially his early work as it was so ahead of its time. Great quote.

I found this story back in 2007 on the website www.businessballs.com.

A tale is told about the Buddha, Gautama (563-483 BC), the Indian prince and spiritual leader whose teachings founded Buddhism.  This short story illustrates that every one of us has the choice whether or not to take personal offence from another person’s behavior.

It is said that on an occasion when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, he found himself on the receiving end of a fierce outburst of abuse from a bystander, who was for some reason very angry.

The Buddha listened patiently while the stranger vented his rage, and then the Buddha said to the group and to the stranger, “If someone gives a gift to another person, who then chooses to decline it, tell me, who would then own the gift?  The giver or the person who refuses to accept the gift?”

“The giver,” said the group after a little thought. “Any fool can see that,” added the angry stranger.

“Then it follows, does it not,” said the Buddha, “Whenever a person tries to abuse us, or to unload their anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the abuse; whether to make it ours or not.  By our personal response to the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad feelings.”

How often do we blame another for making us feel bad, when in fact we have only ourselves to blame for having chosen to let their actions cause us misery?

~B

I’m going to make this short and sweet because now that I’ve finished dealing with the problem, I want to go on to something new.  As I stated in previous posts, the best place to go if you are into learning more about how to deal with issues of this sort is www.walkthetalk.com.  Here’s how I was taught to document discussions:

  • Describe the problem using facts and specific actions, including descriptions of the desired and actual performance, and the impact and consequences identified (your lists).
  • Describe the “offenders’” history to include how long the problem has been going on, any previous discussions or formal disciplinary action, and an indication if the “offenders” have failed to keep commitments that were engaged in prior discussions.
  • Describe the discussion itself to include the time, date and location, specific comments/statements made by the “offender” – especially the agreement, all actions the “offenders” said they would take to correct the problem, and as I had to do, include what I told the “offenders” when mandating compliance.

This is all about the facts.  Nothing subjective should be included.  That’s the hardest part for me.  I am, by nature, a very subjective person.  I have to focus on producing positive behavior, not placing blame or excusing actions.  I don’t know who originally stated it, I found it written in my notes, but I love this quote:

Remember that your purpose is not to “write THEM UP” but to “write IT DOWN.”

~B


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